tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4372235211314315085.post3679122553340130091..comments2024-03-06T07:04:08.232-05:00Comments on Riv Reads: The "Let's Talk" BlogfestRiv Rehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09385226727864037794noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4372235211314315085.post-69491913884344599292010-05-21T21:43:29.535-04:002010-05-21T21:43:29.535-04:00This is the 2nd ice skating one. Cute.
"I kn...This is the 2nd ice skating one. Cute.<br /><br />"I know he followed because I heard a thud as he fell down again."<br /><br />That is such a great line!Tarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09008153523366719973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4372235211314315085.post-61535831542021595332010-05-19T02:01:31.321-04:002010-05-19T02:01:31.321-04:00Nice Riv! I like little things like "I know ...Nice Riv! I like little things like "I know he followed because I heard a thud as he fell down again." - awareness of the characters that goes beyond the immediate dialog and makes them more real.<br /><br /> Well, I decided to do this too. I never do things like this so why not. Check mine out. It was totally random also but ended up being something I might use in my book 2. http://campfae.blogspot.comBasil The Wandering Foolhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10849371448908295707noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4372235211314315085.post-52975983632666309602010-05-18T22:45:12.999-04:002010-05-18T22:45:12.999-04:00Haha my dialogue is about iceskating too! Nice wo...Haha my dialogue is about iceskating too! Nice work - you portrayed the emotions wonderfully. I found Damien to be a little conflicting - I wasn't sure what to think of him.Juanitahttp://writersblocknz.weebly.com/blog.htmlnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4372235211314315085.post-90230160557292580342010-05-18T20:29:41.173-04:002010-05-18T20:29:41.173-04:00Lots of good emotions here :) Oh, and I've got...Lots of good emotions here :) Oh, and I've gotta agree with Shelli--I want to read the "Clark Kent" bit too. lol. But anyway, this is a pretty good piece for something you wrote off the top of your head. Sounds a little stiff in places, but overall, it's pretty good.Kristina Fugatehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18204372165725432422noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4372235211314315085.post-51865805617023764262010-05-18T19:56:03.361-04:002010-05-18T19:56:03.361-04:00Not bad for a seat-of-the-pants thing! Good emoti...Not bad for a seat-of-the-pants thing! Good emotion there. I think you rely a little too heavily on the dialogue for exposition -- she's explaining things he already knows about, so in real life she probably wouldn't have done that. I think I would have enjoyed reading the actual Clark Kent banter instead of a recap. I think it gets really good when you start talking about how this is a "different" kind of skating competition. That's where it really drew me in and made me want to read more.Shellihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03068094486297918345noreply@blogger.com